Posts Tagged ‘perfection’
Day 40
This past week we had off and on sex and finally I make the move to my beloved husband to say, “YES!” I want sex, again. I miss it!”
We had a hard day of baby up every 2 hours all night long. Baby is getting worse with the “up all night long” these days. I had a super depressed day of not wanting to do anything…..at all. I had my cousin call and basically force herself to come and visit me. It was a much needed visit, even though mostly unwanted, but it got me out of my funk and feeling good about life again, and about myself.
I do need time spent with my 4 cousins to feel happy in my life. And I also need some good time spent with my 3 sisters. If I don’t get that, I get really sad, I don’t feel supported and I get down and out. I did an in depth discussion with one of my sisters letting her know that I did not feel supported and I need her more in my life. I miss her so much I was sad all week about it. Hopefully she got the message and at least we will talk on the phone more often. I hope to see her and her kids soon.
I was wanting to get to bed early as I did the night before, but also wanted to spend time with the hubby before, just even for an hour. He was massaging my legs and feet while I caught up on a couple of shows on Hulu. We finally went to bed around midnight, and he was givin g me such a great back tickle. He had been giving me lots of back tickles this past week, since we only had sex 3 times last week. I finished my period last Friday, but was really sad and depressed and didn’t feel like doing anything ever. again. But I had noticed that I had sex dreams with my husband, and that I had the urges to just romp his bones, but in real life, I had my body telling me I was tired and depressed.
But last night as he was tickling me, I turned toward him and snuggled on the side and leg on top of his crotch area. I love to snuggle on him. I was tickling his front side, which I know he loves and always says he wants. I started tickling his penis and playing with it and tickling around that area. His penis got hard and he was loving it.
DH turned toward me and we put his penis inside of me, with him in that comfortable position where he is on top of me, but behind me, and on the side of me. How do I describe this? I’m going to have to come up with a photo, maybe one of those 3D photos DH gets. I was feeling great and loving it. We both were. It started to get awkward from that position, don’t really know why, but we changed it so that he was on top. I was worried that DH would start getting a hurt back, but that didn’t happen. He was about to cum, and I could tell it was a good one, when my phone went off, right as he was about to climax, “DROID!!!!” I’m startled, and think, CRAP! I forgot to turn my volume down on my phone and I have just ruined his orgasm. DAMNIT! Oh well. DH says, “Droid”, to reiterate what just happened and starts to laugh and so do I. I feel bad, but he says it’s okay. He did say it interrupted a really great orgasm, but oh well, it was fun and the DROID was funny.
I was going to ask to have him get the vibrator after DH came, but the DROID thing distracted me and we ended up just laughing about it, getting cleaned up and taking a shower. I thought, “Damn, I was going to try for an orgasm”. Oh well. I will try again. At least we are back in the saddle again.
I am also needing to make up for all the days I have missed blogging. The perfectionist in me wants to do a perfect job and make up all the days with perfect remembrance. And that I can’t move forward unless I do. I was also going to quit because we didn’t have sex a couple of days last week, mostly because of my period. Probably 100% because of my period. But I am not going to quit. I miss having sex with my husband. I miss blogging about it. I am also not going to be perfect in my day to day blogs. I am not going to edit or look back and perfect my blog post. They aren’t perfect anyway. I am not a good writer. I love to write. I do my best. And I am just going to journal my days of sex with my husband and not worry about perfection. If I do, this blog will never work for me.
Thanks, and I Love ya.