Posts Tagged ‘tired’

Day 28

My husband brought me flowers home tonight. He is a goody. I feel bad because I told him last time he brought me flowers that I didn’t care about flowers, that all it did was stress me out on the money he spent! I didn’t tell him right away, I told him later when I knew I needed to talk about it. I guess that’s how bad our life has gotten with money. I used to love getting flowers. I used to buy myself flowers all the time! I hope some day I am overjoyed when I buy myself flowers.

We did not have sex during the day yesterday. There wasn’t a spare moment. I kept thinking if we could fit sex in all day long. If it wasn’t taking or picking kids up or taking care or feeding the infant, or trying to put baby back to bed, we would have had sex! Haha! What is this parenting thing? When the oldest comes home from school, it is over, there is no chance. It is non-stop homework, piano, breakdown from piano, more crying about piano(breakdowns not every day, just every couple of weeks).

We did go outside in the backyard and played baseball in the fresh air. Aaaah! Fresh air! Sometimes I don’t feel like I sit and enjoy it much. We went from playing baseball to Lacrosse  then making a fort outside on the grass. We finally came in for dinner and did more homework. We got kids ready for bed, brushed teeth, read stories and sang songs. Aaaah!

We crawled into bed late trying to catch up on projects including a few blog posts. I went into the room and baby was wide awake playing in his crib so I got him out and put him on our bed. He wanted to play and he wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. Noooo!!! We played with him for a while then just put him to bed and let him cry. He didn’t cry long, but by that time it was about 2 or so in the morning. Really?

DH and I start to snuggle and tickle each other’s backs (and fronts) and play around. I told DH as I was yawning a million times that I just wanted him to have a hard penis right now, so we could just get it on and do it quick and have it over with. I know that this is no way to start sex, but I was extremely tired and didn’t have control over what I was saying. Tired brain took over. I noticed when I was yawning that I had remembered yawning a million times the night before. And that sex session didn’t go so well……either.

Well, we tried, nothing was happening tonight, it’s not like we are 19 or anything. We do our best, we call it good, call it a night, and make the decision to end the battle of the intercourse. Hopefully in the future there isn’t too many more battles.


Day 27

You know it’s bad when you’re husband says he misses the day’s when we had spontaneous sex. Meaning awesome, fun, glorious sex! And that this everyday thing is getting to him, too. Maybe it was a bad idea. It is hard to have sex everyday. We have a newborn, and 3 young children, we live at my parents, and we are trying to get our work life in order. No worries. No stress. No pressure.

I was super tired last night and finally went to bed by midnight telling my husband to wake me up when he comes to bed. He tried to wake me up for 15 minutes, he said, by tickling my back and body. I finally came to at 1:05 am with a “what are you doing?”. I was not irritated like I usually am when woken up, but a tiny bit bugged, but barely. I knew what we were committed to, so I was fine.

We talked for a while and snuggled. We started kissing and playing with each other. I have to admit I wasn’t totally all there, or into it, and maybe that contributed to the outcome. DH was getting hard but was not getting hard enough for a good while. I was not in the mood to go down on him or make any drastic moves to get some horny on. It’s not that I hated it or wasn’t into it, I just wasn’t giving my A game. DH started to get frustrated and basically stopped because he knew that it wasn’t going to happen for him tonight, or at the moment.

We stopped officially. We snuggled, DH started tickling my back and we talked about it. We were sad, but understood that it is not going to be roses everyday or easy to “bring it on” every night. We decided that we need to make a conscious effort to have sex during the day when our two kids are at school and our baby is asleep. This midnight – 2 am in the morning thing has got to go!


Three Weeks of Sex! Who’d a thunk it? We were talking earlier today about how even when we were first together, we probably didn’t have sex every day for three weeks straight. Two weeks straight, maybe. I didn’t quite know what to expect when we started this experiment and to be honest, I wasn’t certain that we would make it this far without missing a day. But here we are!

I was putting #3 to bed around 8:30, sitting in the rocking chair to calm him and I fell asleep before he did. DW wakes me when she takes him from my arms to the crib. Even though I feel a twinge of guilt for going to bed early, I take her suggestion and hit the hay. I am counting on her waking me up when she comes to bed and pleased when she does.

It is around midnight and #3 has awoken for a feeding and been put back in his crib. I am a little surprised when DW asks me to get Lelo out of the drawer. I thought she had given up on it. But tonight is to be a great night because Lelo gives her not one, not two, but three neck-snapping orgasms! Horray! The way Lelo works, DW has to be in just the right mood and I guess today was the day. I had been feeling bad that she hadn’t cum for several days. I always get a silly grin on my face because I love to be there when she orgasms. It really turns me on.

After her second “O”, I go inside her and she is still using Lelo to try for a the third. I can feel the vibe through her body and every once in a while it pushes against the top of my penis, sending the vibrations all the way down my shaft to the tip. If she wasn’t trying to cum again, I might ask her to keep pushing it on me to see how it changes my orgasm. But after a little bit she cums again and a moment later, so do I.

We are both totally stoked!



Nothing says sexy like being covered in shit. And nothing says “Oh Shit” like hearing a loud gurgling noise coming from the bathroom. And nothing says “SHIT” like spending four hours draining the house’s backed up plumbing, cleaning out clogged pipes, and then washing the floors and counter tops where all of the sewer water had flooded. And then I crawl into bed at 3:00 AM.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, even at 3 AM, but this time I am exhausted and just want to go to sleep. Duty calls though, and we did commit to this challenge. Thank God my DW is a trooper and as soon as I get showered and into bed, she is working on my penis. Within no time at all, she has gotten me hard and is sucking on me like a porn star. The tiredness begins to fade just a little and this feels great. But the fog of exhaustion is constantly battling with my libido for control over my mind. Twice, I catch myself almost passing out but being kept in the game by my awesome wife.

We transition to straight sex and things are good. She is tight and wet. (I think she is ovulating and that always makes for a slippery va-gi-gi.) The good feeling is there but the exhaustion is winning and my back is hurting from spending so much time bent under the sink. It takes a lot longer than I would hope and eventually I have to throw in the towel.

We snuggle up together and I tickle her back for as long as I can…. But I am sure I was asleep in mere seconds.

Lucky 13

If every other day has been a busy day, today was a Holy Fuck Non-Stop Busy day.

DW is in a book club where once a year, each member gets a chance to host, providing dinner and a venue for conversation. Each member takes tremendous personal pride in how their event goes and it is a really big deal. I get a huge kick out of seeing DW have an incredible book club night when it is her turn. And this is that night. So, we spent the entire day together, on our feet, finalizing the preparations, cleaning the house, and cooking the feast. (And cleaning up afterwards.) As always, book club night was a fantastic success and everyone was raving over her dinner.

By the time the last guest headed home at One-Something in the morning we were exhausted. I had actually almost gone to sleep an hour or so previously with the rationale that DW would hopefully wake me up by sucking on my penis while I slept, or some other male fantasy like that. But there was a pile of laundry on the bed that needed to be folded and there were still dishes from their dinner in the sink to put in the washer. And I’m a nice guy……

We tidy up a little and get into bed. I joke that maybe we could just put it in for a “minute” and call it good. We snuggle up together though and lay facing each other on our side, kissing and fondling. It feels yummy and good and we start to have sex in this sideways position. My back begins to hurt a little so I move up to straddle her lower leg with her leg laying across my lap. It is feeling REALLY good and the combination of her leg laying over and tight wet pussy are hitting all the right spots on my dick. Kind of like this but with the leg down, not up…

After I cum she is feeling like it too and we get Lelo out of the bag. It takes forever and a little longer. I am doing all I can think of to help by caressing and fondling but nothing seems to be working. After quite a while, she turns it off with a whispered “dammit!” Lelo has failed us. It is time to go shopping for a more effective vibe. Dang.

Day 13

Of all the nights thus far with the new baby, Monday night was the worst. Baby is teething and has gotten a cold from his brother and has snot running down his nose now. Baby boy was up every 45 min. throughout the night. I didn’t think it could get any worse. I am feeling things crashing around me. I am tired, exhausted and I am feeling a constant reminder of the commitment I made to myself and my husband, but mostly myself.

I was the host for my bookclub last night. We were organizing, cleaning, and making food all day in preparation for the evening. And all the while trying to juggle two sick kids and going to sport activities with the two oldest. Oh yeah, and some work for my DH.  Somehow I pushed through the day with several hours of sleep. I was too tired to go walking in the morning but not too bummed about it, and it happened to be raining. Excuses, excuses.

After a great bookclub, and the last of the ladies left by 12:30am or so, I knew what DH and I still had to do. Luckily I have the greatest husband in the world, and most people know this, but DH cleaned all the dishes and kitchen up while us ladies were chatting. So that was out of the way. But sex wasn’t. It’s sad that I have to get Sex out of the way. But it’s feeling like that these past few days. This is going to be a great test of endurance of body and mind.

We came to bed with baby asleep and white noise. We wrap our naked selves around each other and lay exhausted. I think to myself just before and during this snuggle at what a great thing to have promised to have sex everyday. Even if the sex doesn’t turn out right or we don’t finish, or we fall asleep in snuggle position, at least we made a conscious decision to think about each other in this way each day or night. To come, and not necessarily cum, together and be ONE. To turn to one another in bed and say, HI. To acknowledge the existence and give thoughts of intimacy towards one another, even if for a few minutes.

We snuggle and it is nice and comfortable and I want to fall asleep, but lying there naked we always start to touch each other or rub each other. And so we do. We are also able to KISS, which I love, it always helps with getting in the mood, which leads to rubbing or tickling etc, etc. We stay in the side position which is a favorite of mine, and I could stay like that, but we have to move on. We go to some sort of side position which is fun, and he ends up cumming with me thrusting a certain way.

I’m in the mood to have an orgasm, since I didn’t the last two nights. It’s so late and I’m so tired that I go for the vibrator. I don’t know why I think the vibrator is faster, because the LELO is NOT! So frustrating! I end up throwing the lelo down and getting up to take a shower. UGh. I reach the total climax of an orgasm ready to spill over about 15 times and then nothing, nada, no feeling, it’s gone, the feeling is gone. So I start over again, get vibe into a good position, relax, get in the mood, get into my body, get into my vagina, the process! One or two times I start to fantasize for a second or two, but that doesn’t work, get back to the feelings and how my clitoris is feeling. Okay, maybe just 10 ‘almost orgasms’, but it seemed like 100. I was done. Cuss the Lelo! I need a new vibrator! 1-800-walmart.


Things can certainly turn on a dime. I still haven’t quite wrapped my head around what happened or how it went downhill so quickly. Looking back, it seems that the day was a bit off-kilter to begin with though so maybe it was doomed from the start. I was extremely stressed out all day with finances and work. Some things weren’t going well on a project for a client that I needed to get finished up so we can get paid. DW seemed constantly on edge.  And it probably didn’t help that by the end of the day we are both dead tired.

Despite all this, I was still enjoying the afterglow of day 8 and looking forward to getting things going. But I knew that with all the regular daily obligations, to-do’s, and kids it was going to be late again. Somehow we have to change that.

When we are finally alone (again in a darkened room with the baby’s white noise CD screaming in the corner) She is already laying in bed, naked and I strip and climb in with her. I am really wanting her and dying to kiss her. My cold sore isn’t totally healed yet so I can’t go for her lips. I come up behind her and snuggle up with my arms around her. I nibble on her ear and neck. There is a little spot on the right side just above her collar bone that is usually pretty sensitive in a good way and I go for that. She squirms and giggles a little but turns her body away. She tells me that she is probably going to need some K-Y today and asks me to get it. The request feels a little abrupt.

A few times during the day, I had tried to caress or reach out to DW with my hand or foot. Maybe I was little overbearing, maybe something totally unrelated was bothering her, or maybe it was all in my head, but it seemed that every time I did, she was a little irritated by it. This comes flooding back into my mind now and I feel a bit deflated. I get the K-Y and Lelo and bring them back to the bed. Lelo is in a silk bag so I open it first so that we don’t get K-Y on the fabric. DW sounds bugged that I am not opening up the ziploc baggie that contains the bottle of K-Y. It is pitch-black in the room and we need a little light so she can see where to put the drops on her vagina and clitoris. The light from Lelo’s LED isn’t quite bright enough so I have to get my cell phone and turn on the screen for more light. She seems to be getting more bugged by the minute. Turn the deflated meter a couple more notches but try to let it go.

She starts to use Lelo on herself and I lay next to her. I caress her neck and chest, and down her left breast. I am trying to stay clear of her sensitive right nipple, but when I get to her tummy she swats my hand away. What?? She says it tickles too much when I touch her tummy and that she gets major anxiety when I touch either of her breasts because of the sore right nipple. I get what she is saying about her nipple but am confused a bit because I have been caressing her in these other places for the past 7 days and it seemed like it was ok. I have been as careful as I can be not to touch the right nipple area, but now the left breast and tummy are off limits as well. We talk about it. She says it has been this way the entire time she has been breastfeeding. I don’t remember that. I try to salvage what I can of the mood and my libido by caressing her thigh but within a few moments, my hand is pushed away from there as well. I am now totally flustered and emotionally hurt. 🙁

But OK, so sometimes she just needs a little space. Sometimes it is distracting for her to have me caress her when she is trying to cum. I stop so she can focus on her… and because I am now at a complete loss as to what to do. Suddenly she stops and puts away the vibe. She is pissed.  “So you’re just done?” I ask. “Well, you’re not doing anything to help.” is the reply. What am I supposed to do when she doesn’t want me to touch her?? I don’t know what to say. And if I said anything, it would probably be the wrong thing and things will get worse. This bites. A minute later, the baby wakes up and starts to cry. I want to cry too.

Sometime in the middle of the night…. I wake up as she snuggles up to me and starts playing with my penis. It feels good and I instantly start to get hard. I feel happy that she still wants to do this tonight. I didn’t think she was going to touch me for a day or more and I had been certain that she didn’t want me to touch her at all.

I turn to face her and we embrace. I roll on top of her and she guides my penis inside. Despite this feeling SO good, I am still emotionally messed from earlier.  I try my hardest to push it all aside and just focus on the here and now. To just be in the moment and make love. It seriously feels so incredibly good to have her holding me and running her hands all over my body and my penis feels wonderful inside her. But the tip of my penis is totally numb. I am rock hard but I can’t feel anything there.  I clear out my mind, concentrating on the sensations.  I feel her hands on my body and her legs wrapped around me. I try several different thrusting positions, faster, slower, deeper, shallower. The pressure to perform is starting to make me self conscious. I realize that it isn’t going to get better. I should be ready to explode but instead I am starting to feel incredibly sad.

I tell her that I don’t think I am going to be able to cum. We stop. I can’t believe this is happening like this. I feel absolutely horrible and I am sure that she does too. She rolls over and I tickle her back for as long as I possibly can before sleep takes over. Tickling her back is one of the ways I say “I Love You.” I pray that she feels this right now.

Day 9

A huge part of me thinks that we would never have sex if it wasn’t for me. That’s true. If I didn’t or don’t want to, we don’t have sex. But it is also true that if DH didn’t want to have sex we would not have sex either. He’s 1/2 the equation here. He has a say, too. For it, or against it.

I don’t know if it was a more tired day than others, the fact that I fell asleep sitting up in the couch with my mouth open at 4pm, which never happens, or that we finally got into bed at midnight. Tonight sucked. The whole thing was bad.

Same scenario as the night before, baby asleep in our room, white noise going, pitch black, completely perfect for a romantic evening, right? We are exhausted and I think, let’s just do this. I ask him if he just wants to go in me. He says, “Is that what you want to do?” yes… okay no. So I grab the LELO and have at it. Nothing. Then DH starts caressing me and starts with the breast area. Right now that is not a good place to start. I’ve told him a million times my nipples are on fire and have daggers living in them right now. I am feeling anxiety hoping that he doesn’t touch my nipples. Then he slides down to my tummy and that is super ticklish so I push his hand away. It was a complete natural response. It may have felt like I hit his hand away. Well, that wasn’t good. He stops touching me, it’s not working for me. I apologize and start to explain what was going on for me and that it was my issue and let’s get back into it. I may have pretty much killed the mood, so I stop the Lelo and turn over.

I guess we are not going to do it tonight. I was irate, pissed, mad at myself and mad at him. He doesn’t do anything to try to get things going again. He closes up and says nothing. He finally breaks the silence and says that he feels I don’t want to talk to him. Yes, I don’t want to talk but I am still in this commitment and want to have sex everyday. It’s important. Why doesn’t he try to start it up again? He knows I am in this. I started the sex. I said I was sorry and tried to maturely talk to him about what was going on with me, and not to do that again. It doesn’t mean that it is over. But nothing is said, he doesn’t respond, so I turn over. Pretty much what happens when we get in a fight. Typical. Lame. I’m hurt, and I am sure he is hurt.

The baby starts crying and wakes up, so DH gets him and I feed him. I think, well, after I feed the baby we’ll DO IT. Time will heal. Then the SNORE. It’s over, he is asleep, done for the night, not happenin’, nada. I am sad.

Next baby wake up call is at 3:30am. I feed him. I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept well all night since we didn’t have sex. Sick to my stomach. I’ve committed to something in my life right now, and I want to stick to it. Even if we are so mad at each other. Hate each other. What an experiment to keep having sex through all of that. HUH? Don’t you think? I was mad at him earlier in the day and thought, no way in hell are we having sex tonight. Maybe that’s what started this? Be careful what you say, you might just get it! I think it’s an awesome thought to have sex even though you don’t want to or are mad at each other. What happens to your relationship? Does it help? Hurt? Remove the hate and pain? Make you forget what happened? Even though I don’t want to have sex during those times of hatred, sadness and anger, I still want to have sex. We’ve never done this before. How great to try!

After I ask DH to get baby to his bed after second feeding he goes to the bathroom. Perfect. He won’t have to pee while having sex which usually distracts him. When he gets back to bed, he is instantly snoring. I tell myself 100 times to go wake him up to try to have sex. I finally get over there, about 4am. He moans with goodness that I am snuggling him. I start to caress him and play with him and get him hard. Believe me, this is not easy to do since I am still feeling mad and hurt. We turn over and he is on top of me, since usually this is the best position for him, and we go at it. I am wet,I AM WET and it’s feeling good and I am getting turned on. And from experience he loves me to wake him up in the middle of the night to have sex. He is always turned on . I know he is liking it, but he is not loving it. I can just tell that it’s probably not going to happen for him. But I think, no, eventually there will be a turning point. I ask DH if it is hurting him(like his back or knees), and he says no, but then he reveals that it’s not happenin’ for him and that he’s sorry.

Ouch. I am sad and hurt again. This never happens. I can remember one or two times that this has happened in our 13 year relationship. And it’s usually because we already did it that day, or his back is really hurting. Not because of a fight or that we were mad or hurt at each other. Hmmm….sad. It could be that it’s been 9 days straight of having sex. But I don’t believe that. His penis is mad at me.

I turn over and try to go to sleep. And I eventually do.

Day 5

Today I don’t make my walk in the morning because I have my infant breastfeeding from me right when I’m supposed to get up, for a whole hour. I must’ve fallen asleep. There is nothing left in that boob, it’s become a pacifier. I remember I am meeting a friend for my first weight watchers meeting in 7 or 8 years. I’m glad I went, but I have a shit load to lose, the most I’ve ever had to.

After I get home from WaWa, (short for Weight Watchers), I’ve got my husband asking me all day, “Wanna do it? Wanna do it?”  We have our pre-k boy at home on Monday’s and there was no way we could do it. He then proceeds to let me know how horny he is, that his penis is very “present”. HAHA. I am loving this. I ask him if it was the sex last night? or that we are having sex all the time now and that his dick (I said it) is expecting it? He doesn’t know the ‘why’, he just knows that IT is present and he’s very aware of IT, and IT could have sex at any given time. I want to have sex early in the day, but with my 2 youngest at home all day, it ain’t gonna happen.

We are so tired again, but make a huge effort to get into bed by 10:30 or 11? It feels late. I get the lube out, get it on my lady parts, and start the vibrator. It feels as if it needs to be recharged, but no time for that. It’s a little bit clinical tonight, but it’s not going to be porn city every night. It takes a while, and feels like I am about to cum, then NO, it dies instantly, and again it rises to the edge of cumdum and no, and repeat. Suddenly, I don’t know if I was ready, or it just hit the right spot or if DH touched me on my inner thighs, but suddenly the LELO hits a spot and I start cumming, no warning, just got right into it. It was a good one, with a great beginning and drawn out.

We get DH right in there, yes, there is no foreplay these days. We still can’t kiss, and we are tired. One of these days. DH tries a few positions, but he gets one that is good and he cums and his reaction is jerky. Never seen that one. His body went into intense small quick jerks, and I had to hold in the laugh, but I barely made it when I released the laugh. Don’t get me wrong, I am not making fun. I love this! I love to watch him. I love the different looks he gets. It’s fun and a lot of times funny. We laugh together. I guess he’ll have to express sometime if he doesn’t like the laugh. But so far laughing is good. HAhaHAhaHAAA!

Day 4

HAHAHA! SO FUN! I am invigorated! This is so fun! We are laughing so much right now! And so excited!!!

We were so tired and writing our posts for last night and thinking, wow, we still have to have sex. hahaha! We’ve spent the day cleaning, doing homework, dinner at my sister’s, and putting our kids to bed late with one of them crying that he had to go pee before bed. Sitting down and thinking, do we have sex now or write our posts? If we write our post’s for last night, we will never have sex. If we have sex, we’ll have to write two posts, and I’ll forget about last night’s sex. The dilemma!

I write my post, my husband follows suit. I say, I’m so tired, and he tells me later that he thinks we won’t have sex today. What?! I am not quitting! I think he is quitting, but he thinks I am quitting. I say that I can’t believe that he’d let me crumble that easily, or quit, or miss a day, because he doesn’t fight back and say NO! But he doesn’t. I tell him that I just need to express my feelings and say that I am sooo tired ad that we have to write posts and have sex. LOL!

DH is still writing his post, since his are awesome and way better than mine. I go into the room with sleeping child and grab the new vibrator. Getting a little excited. I come back to couch, strip naked, put down a blanket on the couch where DH is writing, and lay down. I get the sample water based lubricant out that they give with the GIGI or LELO, and ask DH to open it. He opens it. He runs down the hall to the bathroom, runs back to the couch, stripping off his clothes, whipping his glasses off, and gets down to watch. I have put on the lube, started the veebratore, and I try it out on the clitoris, then my opening, then my inside of my vagina. I ask where exactly is the g-spot? I think I know where it is, but I’ve never had an O with it, so I am not positive. I try out the gigi in the area, and think, let’s explore later. So I go to my C-spot, and it is great. It’s wet, and feeling really good. My DH is playing with me around my vagina, and the opening of the vagina, feeling good. I go into the O-zone and several times I think I will cum, but it doesn’t. That’s okay, I feel it again. And then…there it is, I think I am cumming. And YES! I AM! It’s a good, long and delicious feeling one. OOH, is that TMI? This is so crazy that I am writing this down, describing it, and SHARING IT!

We played around with his penis, then drew it into my vagina. It felt really good. He was on top, and it was hitting the end of whatever it’s called, not hurting though, but almost, and just for a while. I am into it, I start kissing him on his chest and neck and shoulder and he is liking it. I like when he tells me what he likes and what turns him on. I love to bite sometimes, probably too much, so I am doing that, too. I am wet, I also had lube on, so it’s feeling really good. I am loving his ass, grabbing it, squeezing it, slapping it, love it. He cums, and his butt muscles contract with the rhythm of the orgasm. That is cracking me up! That starts the laugh! I love it! So fun!

We shower, we are invigorated. We are so happy and laughing. I told DH that if we didn’t make this commitment, we would not have had sex for the past 3 days. Meaning we would have had sex the 1st day, and that one we had to really push ourselves to do, or that wouldn’t have happened. We would’ve made many excuses to not have sex. And not just me, DH, too.  I am so excited because I feel it will change us, and for the better. I can’t imagine having sex everyday for one year, with 3 young kids!!!  Knowing that I made a commitment, a goal, to have sex everyday for  a year with my husband, has given me a challenge. I have made every excuse NOT to have sex, and so many legitimate ones. :/ (It’s sounding like my exercise routine.) If you don’t make a commitment, you won’t do it. That’s sad. Sex is fun, or at least it should be!