Posts Tagged ‘fail’
Sixes
Well…. Technically we did have sex today….
Today, like yesterday, I am again feeling like a horn-dog. Son #1 is at school, #2 is in pre-school, and #3 has gone down for a nap. DW is home, I am home, and it is the middle of the day. Perfect time for a Fuck!
She is eating a rather tasty looking turkey-on-rye and I am at a break-point in my work so I casually walk out of the living room, into the bedroom, past the sleeping infant and over to the “sex drawer”. Oh so carefully and quietly, I retrieve our now fully-charged Lelo and the lube. Then silently return to the living room where come up behind her and place the vibrating tip of Gigi on the nape of her neck. Just a not-so-subtle suggestion.
She is, of course, not quite done with lunch though so I sit back down at my laptop across the coffee table from her. My horny mind is turning and I get the idea to try to find a porn vid of some girl masturbating and moaning and then turn up the speakers for a joke. But before I can find something, DW finishes her sandwich and runs down the hall with a shout of “Last one is a rotten egg!” I grab Gigi and chase after her, laughing. This is going to be fun.
Because #3 is in our bedroom and we pay the piper if he wakes up, we are again in the kid’s room on the only other easily accessible bed. The problem is that it is a damn small single bed. Another problem is that it is taking a while for DW to cum today. It seems like she really has to work on it and the vibe keeps slipping out of position. I can tell that she is a little frustrated and later she confirms this is true. By the time she finally reaches her O, she has a slight headache. I feel bad for her.
We really gotta spend more time on foreplay next time and we both agree that we need to invest in a stronger vibrator as well. Even fully charged, Gigi is not quite powerful enough for the times when extra stimulation is needed. We used to have a legendary Magic Wand but it is no longer with us and nothing has come close to replacing it.
We then jump into my “turn” and I go inside her but it just ain’t working. The bed is small and cramped, my knee keeps slipping off the side, the wall is in the way, the top bunk is in the way, the headboard is in the way, my knees are hurting, my back is hurting, this is my kid’s bedroom, and between all of this, it is becoming a tragic comedy. We can’t go more than a few moments into trying different positions before the hilarity of the effort makes us laugh. Mentally, I am lost. 🙁 Time to call it. Maybe later???