Day 41

All I know is that it was bedtime again. Yesterday was a blur. Our baby boy decided to be up in the night from 2-6 am, sleep from 6-7:30 am and up again. We were so tired, as always, and tried to catch up on sleep when Baby took a morning nap. But we have other kids.

We did have a luscious meal made by moi, Chicken Tikka Masala, and our first fire in our fireplace for the season. We put the kids to bed and me making an attempt at writing my first blog since Day 31 was a sign that things could be getting back to normal. Hopefully I am back and that we are back to having sex everyday. I did really miss it.

We got into bed and did the routine of snuggling, DH tickling my back, and me thinking that I want to have sex but it’s hard to initiate when I am not “totally” in the mood. But I just made the move of turning around to face the DH. Believe me, this is a hard move to make and does not always happen. The past week of only having sex twice during my period and grumpiness, I didn’t even consider turning around. So having the thought of turning around is a good sign.

We did a lot of kissing and touching and caressing. DH got really hard, and he played with me and was tickling my vagina and playing with it and went inside with my fingers. It was feeling really good. DH went inside of me, but then I decided to have him get the vibrator and some KY liquid. We put that on, with the light of our phone, haha, and DH went inside of me. I decided to try the LELO while DH was inside of me which is always a crap shoot if I will attain an orgasm. It’s pretty rare if I get one. I don’t know why, but it feels like the penis distracts me from the feelings of an orgasm. Well, not this time! I was really into it and loving it. It was harder to contract since there is a penis inside of me. I don’t know if it prolonged the orgasm or helped it, but I did have a really great first orgasm of the night. It was not too long in coming and when I started to cum it was a really intense and long pre-orgasm until it climaxed and was a very nice calming after climax orgasm. Aaaah! What a great release. Much needed.

I went for a second orgasm. I got a second orgasm, but there was only the climax and contractions, but no feelings of deliciousness, just the physical act of it. I didn’t go for a third.

DH was getting into his body and was loving what was happening. His orgasm was pretty incredible and lasted a while. I don’t know if it was because I was squeezing him a lot since I was orgasaming and that was giving him extra intensity, or that it was just a good night. He came with a bang and I could tell it was a good one. He said that it was awesome, and that it could’ve been a continuation from the night before since he got interrupted with the DROID blasting out from my phone.

It was a great night. I even got a long back tickle afterwards. ūüôā

Day 40

This past week we had off and on sex and finally I make the move to my beloved husband to say, “YES!” I want sex, again. I miss it!”

We had a hard day of baby up every 2 hours all night long. Baby is getting worse with the “up all night long” these days. I had a super depressed day of not wanting to do anything…..at all. I had my cousin call and basically force herself to come and visit me. It was a much needed visit, even though mostly unwanted, but it got me out of my funk and feeling good about life again, and about myself.

I do need time spent with my 4 cousins to feel happy in my life. And I also need some good time spent with my 3 sisters. If I don’t get that, I get really sad, I don’t feel supported and I get down and out. I did an in depth discussion with one of my sisters letting her know that I did not feel supported and I need her more in my life. I miss her so much I was sad all week about it. Hopefully she got the message and at least we will talk on the phone more often. I hope to see her and her kids soon.

I was wanting to get to bed early as I did the night before, but also wanted to spend time with the hubby before, just even for an hour. He was massaging my legs and feet while I caught up on a couple of shows on Hulu. We finally went to bed around midnight, and he was givin g me such a great back tickle. He had been giving me lots of back tickles this past week, since we only had sex 3 times last week. I finished my period last Friday, but was really sad and depressed and didn’t feel like doing anything ever. again. But I had noticed that I had sex dreams with my husband, and that I had the urges to just romp his bones, but in real life, I had my body telling me I was tired and depressed.

But last night as he was tickling me, I turned toward him and snuggled on the side and leg on top of his crotch area. I love to snuggle on him. I was tickling his front side, which I know he loves and always says he wants. I started tickling his penis and playing with it and tickling around that area. His penis got hard and he was loving it.

DH turned toward me and we put his penis inside of me, with him in that comfortable position where he is on top of me, but behind me, and on the side of me. How do I describe this? I’m going to have to come up with a photo, maybe one of those 3D photos DH gets. I was feeling great and loving it. We both were. It started to get awkward from that position, don’t really know why, but we changed it so that he was on top. I was worried that DH would start getting a hurt back, but that didn’t happen. He was about to cum, and I could tell it was a good one, when my phone went off, right as he was about to climax, “DROID!!!!” I’m startled, and think, CRAP! I forgot to turn my volume down on my phone and I have just ruined his orgasm. DAMNIT! Oh well. DH says, “Droid”, to reiterate what just happened and starts to laugh and so do I. I feel bad, but he says it’s okay. He did say it interrupted a really great orgasm, but oh well, it was fun and the DROID was funny.

I was going to ask to have him get the vibrator after DH came, but the DROID thing distracted me and we ended up just laughing about it, getting cleaned up and taking a shower. I thought, “Damn, I was going to try for an orgasm”. Oh well. I will try again. At least we are back in the saddle again.

I am also needing to make up for all the days I have missed blogging. The perfectionist in me wants to do a perfect job and make up all the days with perfect¬†remembrance. And that I can’t move forward unless I do. I was also going to quit because we didn’t have sex a couple of days last week, mostly because of my period. Probably 100% because of my period. But I am not going to quit. I miss having sex with my husband. I miss blogging about it. I am also not going to be perfect in my day to day blogs. I am not going to edit or look back and perfect my blog post. They aren’t perfect anyway. I am not a good writer. I love to write. I do my best. And I am just going to journal my days of sex with my husband and not worry about perfection. If I do, this blog will never work for me.

Thanks, and I Love  ya.

Thirty-One

Well, if I was caught up on all of my old posts, I would be ahead of DW. She always seems to be ahead of me in getting these posts done and I think that I am going to have day 31 done before her! But alas, I still have to get caught up on days 22, 23, & 24. Yikes. I hope I can remember what happened!

This day is Saturday. Another busy one too. Both boys have sports activities and both of them at the same time. DW takes #2 to his baseball game and I take #1 to football while grandma watches #3 napping.Then we meet up at the community center for soccer, followed by a visit to the library where the kids check out way too many dvds to take home. The rest of the afternoon is eaten up at home with watching the movies, doing homework, and trying to catch up on prep for a pitch to a new client next week. Before you know it, the day is gone.

We had set up the futon for the boys to sleep out in the living room again, but DW and I wanted to hang and chat, watch shows, and work on our posts. So we tuck the kids into our bed and claim the room as our own. Time gets ahead of us though and soon it is after midnight. Not to be deterred however, we strip down and get on the futon.

We enjoy some foreplay and begin to have sex. Unfortunately though my back is acting up a bit and making trouble. I change positions to ease the pain, but the change causes DW to start to dry up. This is not good, and just before I am going to suggest some k-y I get a shooting pain in my back that makes it impossible to continue. Bummed.

One full month! Thirty!

One month of our challenge has passed us by in the blink of an eye and we have 335 days of sex left to look forward to! The other day when surfing the web, DW ran across a TV series on showtime called “Seven Days of Sex.” The show chronicles the experiences of several different couples as they undertake a challenge to have sex daily for one week. OK, so we just did that four times in a row. It is kind of funny to think about how a little over a month ago, I would have been in the same mindset as some of the participants, thinking that seven straight days of sex is a pretty big accomplishment.

While I don’t want to minimize what they accomplished, anyone who can manage seven days really ought to try 30. Each of the participants whose account I read talked about how the seven days really opened them up to their partner. How they felt so much more intimate and how they were more attuned to their partner’s needs. For me, it feels like that times a hundred.

We chat more, we talk about things that we normally would have kept to ourselves, we argue a lot less, and we are both less quick to get irritated. When we do get irritated about something the other does, instead of stewing on it for hours or days, we are letting it go and getting back on-board the “us” train within minutes.

Of course, it hasn’t all been roses for the entire month. And having sex every day is definitely not as easy as you would think. There were many days where going into it, one or both of us really didn’t want to have sex and a couple of days when we hit a low that thinking about sex seemed like a chore on the to-do list. But we stayed committed to this and (except for one single day where all we got done was a back tickle and couple times when Mr. Johnson would not cooperate) we were pleasantly surprised. On the difficult days, once we get over the mental block of “I am too tired to have sex” and actually start doing it, it its generally quite enjoyable.

Well, this day is not a difficult day. We are on a high from yesterday an although we don’t get it going in the afternoon, at least it isn’t 2am. We got the kids in bed at a decent hour and before you know it, we are ready to go as well. We tickle and caress each other for a while and then make love side by side. After a little bit, we switch to missionary and then to our modified side stradle. Although DW opts not to use Lelo go try for her orgasm, it is a good session.

Twenty Nine minute orgasm

According to the sex researchers Masters and Johnson, the average male orgasm lasts anywhere from 5-20 seconds. I believe that I have raised that figure a bit this afternoon.

And YES, I did say “afternoon!”

After last night’s rather dismal showing, we decided that we have had enough of the late night sex routine that we have fallen into. It has been making it harder to get aroused, definitely less spontaneous, and sometimes it has been difficult to actually look forward to having sex. A rut is never something you want to get stuck in and it can make even the most¬†desirable¬†of activities seem tedious.

So, today, after DW got back from taking #2 to his afternoon preschool, I met her in the driveway with a kiss and a smile, and a question… “Hey, wanna fuck?” Her response was positive to say the least and we headed back inside the house. As luck would have it, #3 decided to wake up from his nap. Fart!¬†Fortunately though after a quick feeding, he was fast asleep again. DW and I headed for the bed, ripping off our clothes.

We got out the Lelo and DW took it down there while I caressed and kissed her body. Lelo was doing its job rather well and although it seemed like she still had to concentrate a bit, she was visibly turned on. Suddenly, without any warning, she let out a loud moaning gasp and her body jerked upward as her orgasm hit. It was powerful. I wasn’t quite expecting it and I almost jumped up from being startled!

After recovering, she put Lelo on her clitoris again for round two and invited me to put my penis inside her. I was dying to do exactly that and got into position. We made love slowly as the vibe sent its¬†rhythms¬†shooting through our genitals. I was giving her a little room for the Lelo so she could cum again by not pushing into her all the way. The result was extreme pleasure for me as the head of my penis pushed in and out of her vulva and rubbed against the ridges of her vaginal muscles. She is so tight and wet that I can’t begin to describe it. As we made love, I began to feel the beginnings of my orgasm build. and build and build and build. The first part of my orgasm, that usually lasts for several seconds went on for several minutes. I could hear myself moaning as if I was listening from outside my body. I don’t think I have ever made some of the noises before that I heard. Then I climaxed and ejaculated so many times that I lost count as the wave of my orgasm crested and rolled on for another eternity.

All in all, today’s sex rocked! We were both really looking forward to it and excited about it. It really put the zing back into this challenge. ūüôā

Day 29

Wahoo! We finally had sex during the day!!! It’s been so long. The first week of our challenge we had sex during the day, but lately it’s at 2 in the morning. Unless you are in your twenty’s. or thirty’s without kids, 2 in the morning is not fun.

We got our middle boy into afternoon preschool and our infant asleep, finally, in the same time frame. ¬†We were so excited, we were skipping into the bedroom. Yes, literally skipping. We were naked so fast and into the cozy bed with fresh sheets and cool air all around us so we had to snuggle more. We were almost giggling. DH got another cold sore yesterday, so that puts the kissing thing at minimum, or more like a side kiss. So we have to touch more all over the bodies, which isn’t so bad. We are so excited and turned on by the minute we can hardly contain the movement. We brought the lelo vibrator into the bed with us and the ky liquid and I start to put the ky on and DH has turned the lelo on high. I start using the Lelo and not knowing if it will work or not. It’s a day to day experiment. I wasn’t sure if it was going to work. It was feeling so good and it was in the course of an orgasm, and I thought there was a chance of orgasm. But in the past, sometimes it just stops and there is no feeling. But not today! ūüôā I have the vibrator on the side of the clitoris, as that works best for me, usually the left side of it. It was building and building and building and I thought it couldn’t build anymore, but it did, and then some more, and the pre-orgasm is feeling awesome, and then finally the pinnacle of the orgasm and then the rush of orgasm heaven. What we have worked for, what we have achieved, and what we are lucky enough to feel. An orgasm is really sent from heaven. ¬†It is the¬†ecstasy¬†of all ecstasy’s.

DH got inside of me and I was ready for him. It was slow and sensual¬†throughout¬†the whole love making. I used my lelo on me and him. I was thinking I may have another O, but sometimes when DH is in me it distracts the orgasm. We are loving it, DH is loving it. He is going slow, and I did ask if he was okay, wondering if his back hurt or something. When I asked and his face was in pure heaven, I didn’t question after that. DH then went into a very long “oh my god” repetition, including the saying of my name, which doesn’t happen often, and a few more “Oh’s”. It then ended with a long ending of noises and faces of wonder and a laugh or two from the both of us.

Sex is so much fun. It’s fun to think about now. We were both renewed and excited about sex. We are¬†definitely¬†going to do our best to have sex during the day when hopefully most of the kids are out of the house. It’s a good wish.

Day 28

My husband brought me flowers home tonight. He is a goody. I feel bad because I told him last time he brought me flowers that I didn’t care about flowers, that all it did was stress me out on the money he spent! I didn’t tell him right away, I told him later when I knew I needed to talk about it. I guess that’s how bad our life has gotten with money. I used to love getting flowers. I used to buy myself flowers all the time! I hope some day I am overjoyed when I buy myself flowers.

We did not have sex during the day yesterday. There wasn’t a spare moment. I kept thinking if we could fit sex in all day long. If it wasn’t taking or picking kids up or taking care or feeding the infant, or trying to put baby back to bed, we would have had sex! Haha! What is this parenting thing? When the oldest comes home from school, it is over, there is no chance. It is non-stop homework, piano, breakdown from piano, more crying about piano(breakdowns not every day, just every couple of weeks).

We did go outside in the backyard and played baseball in the fresh air. Aaaah! Fresh air! Sometimes I don’t feel like I sit and enjoy it much. We went from playing baseball to¬†Lacrosse¬† then making a fort outside on the grass. We finally came in for dinner and did more homework. We got kids ready for bed, brushed teeth, read stories and sang songs. Aaaah!

We crawled into bed late trying to catch up on projects including a few blog posts. I went into the room and baby was wide awake playing in his crib so I got him out and put him on our bed. He wanted to play and he wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. Noooo!!! We played with him for a while then just put him to bed and let him cry. He didn’t cry long, but by that time it was about 2 or so in the morning. Really?

DH and I start to snuggle and tickle each other’s backs (and fronts) and play around. I told DH as I was yawning a million times that I just wanted him to have a hard penis right now, so we could just get it on and do it quick and have it over with. I know that this is no way to start sex, but I was extremely tired and didn’t have control over what I was saying. Tired brain took over. I noticed when I was yawning that I had remembered yawning a million times the night before. And that sex session didn’t go so well……either.

Well, we tried, nothing was happening tonight, it’s not like we are 19 or anything. We do our best, we call it good, call it a night, and make the decision to end the battle of the intercourse. Hopefully in the future there isn’t too many more battles.

 

Day 27

You know it’s bad when you’re husband says he misses the day’s when we had spontaneous sex. Meaning awesome, fun, glorious sex! And that this everyday thing is getting to him, too. Maybe it was a bad idea. It is hard to have sex everyday. We have a newborn, and 3 young children, we live at my parents, and we are trying to get our work life in order. No worries. No stress. No pressure.

I was super tired last night and¬†finally¬†went to bed by midnight telling my husband to wake me up when he comes to bed. He tried to wake me up for 15 minutes, he said, by tickling my back and body. I finally came to at 1:05 am with a “what are you doing?”. I was not irritated like I usually am when woken up, but a tiny bit bugged, but barely. I knew what we were committed to, so I was fine.

We talked for a while and snuggled. We started kissing and playing with each other. I have to admit I wasn’t totally all there, or into it, and maybe that contributed to the outcome. DH was getting hard but was not getting hard enough for a good while. I was not in the mood to go down on him or make any drastic moves to get some horny on. It’s not that I hated it or wasn’t into it, I just wasn’t giving my A game. DH started to get frustrated and basically stopped because he knew that it wasn’t going to happen for him tonight, or at the moment.

We stopped officially. We snuggled, DH started tickling my back and we talked about it. We were sad, but understood that it is not going to be roses everyday or easy to “bring it on” every night. We decided that we need to make a conscious effort to have sex during the day when our two kids are at school and our baby is asleep. This midnight – 2 am in the morning thing has got to go!

Day 26

This day was probably the most boring sex day. It wasn’t bad it just wasn’t AWESOME.

I went to a Nurse Practitioner today and I am trying to figure out what’s going on with me physically. I told her that I was having sex with my husband everyday and that we made a commitment for a year. She said nothing, gave no judgments, but listened and smiled. I wanted her to know so we would look out for anything out of the ordinary right now or in the future. I have to keep my body well. And I was trying to figure out why I am not losing the weight that I gained during my pregnancy. She suggested a few vitamins right now, and I will be doing some blood work to figure out if there is anything more.

The NP asked me if I was craving sex physically or just having sex because we committed? I told her 6 out of 7 times it was the commitment, and the other because I was wanting it. ¬†I still didn’t use the word “craving”. She said it will be interesting to see when we get my body back to a normal balance if my sexual desires change. NP says that she has women in their 70’s saying “I knew I had it in me, that I could get IT back”. Meaning the sexual libido back. It’s not that I hate sex, because I don’t, but most of the time I don’t start loving sex until we “get into” it. It’s the before sex that keeps me from having sex. But¬†wouldn’t¬†it be AWESOME if I craved sex and was horny and couldn’t wait to “get a room”? That would be awesome. Especially with 3 kids and 10 years of marriage!

DH and I got into bed and chatted and cuddled. I started getting bugged that he was kissing me all over while I was finishing a ¬†text and that the baby started to cry.”Stop kissing me, get the baby”. The babes usually starts to wake up around the time we go to bed.

After I fed the little one, we started kissing and touching. We started out, side to side, or face to face, then ended up where DH was on top of me while I was in the side position. Every other leg position. Does that make sense? If I was DH I would have a photo or better yet, a 3D photo of our sex position.

DH came. He said it was good. I need a new vibrator. The End.

 

Twenty-Six

DW told me yesterday that I never post anything here about “us”, only about the sex. Is that true? I know I don’t go into the same amount of detail and analysis of the day that she does, but I thought that I had been posting things besides the sex as well. No? I was beginning to feel guilty somehow, like I wasn’t doing enough reflection on things or was being too superficial and just focusing on the sex act.

Well, so I just went back and looked at the posts we have written up until now. There is a difference between what I write and what she writes. I am about 80% sex talk and 20% everything else. She seems to be about 60/40. Everything else is made up of miscellaneous things about the day, other things that are going on, comments about the kids, and also “us” analysis and commentary. But while the word count of non-sex talk is different between us it seems like the number of posts containing “us” talk is fairly similar.

So, this lead me to wonder if the length and sexual explicitness of my posts are detracting from the sincerity of the other things I post. Are they a distraction from what this blog is ultimately about: Our relationship with each other and our personal feelings and experience as we undertake this journey of sexual exploration.

Sex this evening was good and fun. We got into bed and I started on the foreplay just as the baby began to wake up. That seems to be one of the most common interruptions we have to deal with. Can’t wait until he starts sleeping through the night. But we got him fed and back into bed soon enough. We start out face-to-face on our sides, which seems to be our regular starting position this week. It feels good for both of us and she likes this position a lot. But it is hard for me to cum so we switch to me on top and DW laying on her side with a leg up. That does the trick…