Posts Tagged ‘marriage’
Day 10
Oh Gosh. Another night. I don’t know which was worse, day 9 or 10?
DH and I didn’t really talk about the night before. We were feeling bad and being nice all day, but we didn’t have a minute to chat. It was late in the evening again, and I wanted to get my post out before I forgot too much. DH worked on his post after I did, while I read my bookclub book. It got late and I decided to get ready for bed and was just going into our room to lay down and read some more and wait for DH. He grabbed me right before I went into our room and asked if we wanted to do it out on the couch. I said, sure, let’s do it!
I put a blanket on the couch and we laid down naked. DH avoids the upper half of my body altogether. I’m worried that I’ll say the wrong thing, and that I won’t be able to tell him what feels good and what doesn’t. I think he is scared he is going to touch me in the wrong places. He is having a go with the lower half of my body with his hands and gets right into the vagina area. I am feeling like it was an awkward first date and we didn’t know what we were doing and going straight for the prize. I grabbed DH and pulled him down on me to feel his warm skin on my skin and loved that we were just holding each other and rubbing ourselves together. It was luscious. DH started getting hard, I was wet, really wet, and he went inside of me. It was beautiful and yummy and I was really enjoying it. We were making love for a while and then I could tell he was getting worried. He was going faster which was drying me out, and he asked me if I needed some KY. I said no. I was enjoying it, I didn’t want the KY. I just wanted to keep going the slow pace we were going for a while and I am positive it would have ended well. It seemed stressful after the point when DH asked me if I needed KY. I guess it wasn’t going to work. We ended it. We went to bed.
AAAAH! This never happens!!!! We never “don’t finish”. That just doesn’t happen. Again?! But last night and tonight was not a comedy of errors, it was just errors. Life lessons as I like to put it. We went into our room to go to bed. I thought maybe we could start again, but it just wasn’t the time.
After the 3:30am feeding, I am falling back asleep when I hear this whisper behind me saying “Wanna, wanna?” I think, “Seriously?! NOOOOOO! I don’t wanna, wanna!” I wake up and say “What?”, “Really?”. I think to myself that he was a sport the night before when I attacked him, so I say “Sure.” The difference is that he likes to be woken up to DO IT, and I do NOT like to woken up to DO IT. I play with his penis and am trying to get into it, thinking, this is going to be a while and I am so tired. It does take a while for him to get fully erect, and it never really happens. I am sure he knows that I am not totally into it. I finally say, “I can’t do this, I am sorry”. I turn over and go to bed. Damnmnn.
We talked for a bit about this today. We both feel bummed and don’t want these past two days to happen again. It can’t be perfect everyday. It never has been. That’s what a marriage is. Trying to make it work. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. The problem with day 9 was that is was doomed from the beginning, and feelings got hurt. Day 10, we were both worried and didn’t feel like we could be ourselves.
I think some sleep deprived sex maniacs were to blame for this!